Gemma Arterton vs Talulah Riley: a fight to the death..ish

16 May

Gemma Arterton vs Talulah Riley

I have a problem. Why is the world obsessed with Gemma Arterton? She “starred” in St. Trinian’s (2007) playing the head girl and since then she has gone on to having a role in the upcoming Bond Film Quantum of Solace.

I may be in the minority here, but despite thinking St. Trinian’s was a “wrong” film, I actually thought one person shone out above the rest (over Colin Firth, Rupert Everett and Russell Brand) was the lead character: Talulah Riley. Now the fact is, you are most likely to not know this woman’s name because all marketing has completely ignored the fact that she was in the film at all. In fact if you buy the DVD (in the UK at least, you will find that only three names appear above the film’s title and they are Colin Firth, Rupert Everett and Gemma Arterton. Why has everyone forgotten this woman? I thought it might be random and perhaps fun to do a full on comparison of them both to argue who really should be acting in the Quantum of Solace. Does Gemma Arterton deserve to be in it? Bear in mind that these ratings are completely personal and in no way biased…..no really!

So without further ado, here comes the war of the women (scored out of 10 as always). Remember that 4 is the top score:

Style / Sass

Gemma Arterton = 3.2

Talulah Riley =3.6

Acting Abilities

Gemma Arterton = 2.6

Talulah Riley =3.1

Acting Experience

Gemma Arterton = 1.3

Talulah Riley =1.4

Silly Frizzy Hair Factor

Gemma Arterton = 0

Talulah Riley = 4

Pouting Capability

Gemma Arterton = 3.8 (She could both pout for England)

Talulah Riley = 3.1 (Yep. She’s a pouter as well)

Versatility in Acting

Gemma Arterton = 1.4 (not much experience = not much proof of versatility

Talulah Riley = 1.7 (bit more than Arterton, but not by much)

Weirdness Factor

Gemma Arterton = 3.7 (Weirds me out in Goth way)

Talulah Riley = 2.4 (weird enough)

Girl next-door factor

Gemma Arterton = 0.1 (Never find this woman next door - too busy partying)

Talulah Riley = 0.9 (It could happen)

Empathy inducing

Gemma Arterton = 0.6 (Nope)

Talulah Riley = 2.2 (Average)

Legitimacy (believability)

Gemma Arterton = 0 (not as a St Trinians schoolgirl…no..)

Talulah Riley = 1.3 (not much of an improvement)

Hollywood Smile?

Gemma Arterton = 3.6 (Oh yes. so very very fake)

Talulah Riley = 3.2 (Absolutely, but less false)

Bondability

Gemma Arterton = 3.9 (classic look)

Talulah Riley = 0 (Er…no!)

The Totals are:

Gemma Arterton: 24.2

Talulah Riley: 26.9

So there you have it. A completely unbiased opinion about why Talulah Riley is so much better suited than Gemma Arterton for playing a Bond Girl, except for the fact that Riley seems to have an unusual dress sense (nothing wrong with that methinks).

Ultimately, this is a futile post since the decision has already been made..long ago. I just hope that the diamond that was Riley (from St. Trinians) is allowed to shine in more challenging and rewarding roles. Either that or the poor woman is going to be known for the rest of her days as the “other girl” from the St Trinians remake.

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